Five Card Stud – Week 4


I’ll have to make this quick. I’m on the road and the signal to my tethered cellphone is dying. By the way, you haven’t lived until you’ve blogged while parked at a truckstop. I just saw a lot lizard wearing leopard printed spandex climb out of a red Peterbilt. She’s a natural beauty, what with her dirty blond mullet and Carolina blue high tops. Whatever act she performed inside the cab of that truck afforded her enough to buy a greasy piece of gas station pizza. Yummy.

Time for this week’s studs. Last week I finally hit one out of the park with Jason Campbell. 340 yards and two touchdown tosses. Facing the Lions defense normally makes for fantasy gold. That was then, this is now.

5) Matt Forte – If Forte doesn’t get the job done this week, I’m removing one of the Ts from his first name. 115 total yards and a score.

4) Mike Sims-Walker – The Titans pass defense continues to be skewered on a weekly basis. Until they prove they can stop the aerial assault I will continue to recommend opposing pass catchers. I have no idea who this Sims-Walker fella is, but he’s a wide receiver for the Jaguars, who happen to be playing the Titans on Sunday. 96 yards and a touch.

3) Brandon Jacobs – The big BJ is off to a slow start in ’09. That ends this weekend. 112 yards and two sixers.

2) Darren McFadden – The Texans can’t stop the run or pass. The Raiders can’t throw, but can kinda run. If they want to make JaMarcus Russell look less like a spaz, they will hand the pigskin to #20. 135 total yards and a touchdown.

1) Ben Roethlisberger – San Diego plays defense every other week. The Steelers have abandoned the running game. Say hello to the 2007 Big Ben. 322 yards and two scores.

In honor of my current surroundings, I think it fitting to provide some Southern Rock for today’s musical offering.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

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