Week 10 Fantasy Recap: When the Levee Breaks

leveeFor the most part, fantasy points have been hard to come by in 2014. If you can hit 90 points on a weekly basis, you’re probably doing okay. Shit seasons from proven studs like LeSean McCoy, Calvin Johnson, A.J. Green, Eddie Lacy, Keenan Allen, Alshon Jeffery, and Andre Johnson, among others, has something to do with the slide in production. But it’s the sorry state of the RB position as a whole that’s the main culprit.

Le’Veon Bell isn’t scoring touchdowns. Gio Bernard is hurt. Frank Gore isn’t getting enough carries. C.J. Spiller is out for the year. Shane Vereen plays for Bill Belichick. Darren Sproles is stealing touchdowns. Ugh.

The Adrian Peterson and Ray Rice debacles have had a trickle-down effect in Minnesota and Baltimore. Rather than leaning on a featured guy, both teams have been forced to turn to maddening committees. Matt Asiata and Jerick McKinnon have had their moments for the Vikings, but neither is an every week starter. Justin Forsett has been solid for the Ravens, but his first multi-TD game didn’t come until this week. Bernard Pierce and Lorenzo Taliaferro? No thanks.

Want more committees? Feast your eyes on the migraines in Cleveland, Atlanta, Tampa, Detroit, Carolina, New England, Tennessee, Denver, San Diego, Oakland, St. Louis, and Buffalo. None of the backs from these teams can be pegged as reliable fantasy contributors. That’s 14 teams, nearly half the league, without a clear-cut number one runner.

It’s frustrating as hell it what it is. It’s also today’s NFL. It’s also why fake teams fortunate enough to own a pair of stud runners are kicking ass.

On to the Week 10 recap.

Monday Night Madness

The Assassins entered Monday night trailing by 51.1 points. Dud efforts from Matt Forte, Jeremy Hill, Antonio Brown, and the useless Michael Floyd had all but sealed their fate. Unless the Eagles D/ST and rookie wide receiver Jordan Matthews blew up. Well, they and he did blow up. In a big, big way. 52.8 combined points later and the Assassins shocked the Beasts to move to 9-1 on the season. Crazy.

The vanishing

Marques Colston is officially dog shit. He’s always been banged up and prone to prolonged disappearing acts, but now he’s flat out dropping game-changing gimme touchdowns. The one he flubbed on Sunday versus the Niners probably cost the Cajuns a much-needed home victory. He’ll look great in a Jets uniform in 2015.

Batman and Robin

Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb have combined for 18 touchdowns in nine games. That’s more than 23 teams, including twice as many as the Bengals, and three times as many as the Vikings. If you dabble in DFS, this duo is absolute money in the bank.

Megatron denied

I doubt there will be an interception this season more impressive that the one snagged by Fish corner Brent Grimes. That’s an automatic six most Sundays.

Daaaaaaaa Raiders!!

raiders-derpIf this derp of epic proportions doesn’t sum up the Raiders, I don’t know what does. Just watch and be amazed by the hilarious ineptitude.

Poor Brock


Not so fast clipboard holder. Pey-Pey ain’t done eviscerating Oakland yet. Brock Osweiler is genuinely pissed, which is just plain awesome.

Andy Dalton: DEFCON 1

If Andy Dalton is going to vomit up these kinds of numbers, why don’t the Bengals sign Tim Tebow and elevate him to starter? They’d save a shit-ton of cash, and best of all have Jesus on their side. It’s a win-win when you think about it.

Week 10 Golden Nutsack Award – Skinny Petes

nutsack2Owning Marshawn Lynch and Jordy Nelson in Week 10 was fantasy bliss. Beast Mode racked 40.3 points and it could’ve been more if a 5th TD wasn’t negated due to a penalty. A team that starts Antone Smith and Kyle Orton and still wins by 30 equates to total domination. Lift your hand and cup the sack, Skinny. You’ve earned it.

Prerequisite Eye Candy

candy-10For fans of the ladies

cake-10For fans of the beefcake.

Week 11 Fearless Forecasting


Effing nailed my Jordan Matthews pick. The rook’s 25.8 points helped me get a W and for once made me look good as a prognosticator. Time to conjure up another under the radar gem. The envelope, please:

Greg Jennings: 99 yards, 1 TD

Have you seen the Bears defense the last two games? The Starks from Game of Thrones have seen less abuse. Even toddler-armed Teddy Bridgewater can pick apart these clods.


Stud Running Back will return…

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